i think i met
an angel in the hallway
serendipity in the subway
today
behind the corner, in my
circus state
she said
“god loves you”
but that was before
i knew myself
well
like
unsealed tupperware or
baggy cotton,
i didn’t notice
(at first)
a slice,
a thin rift
in my pantyhose –
the kind you’d wear to job interviews
and baby showers
except i forgot to take them off
now this small gash
disguised in the innermost thigh
so, i kept wearing them
a few minutes longer than
the label recommends, or at least
until the rip runs
revealing
and i wasn’t looking but
i was found
somehow.
along the stretch they told me
“ignorance is bliss,”
all while shooting
sharp scorn
and compulsive lacerations
at those who find it
but
can’t explain themselves
properly
i was among the first;
scoff and quake and
soak in bleach for
40 days
lest fairy rings and
old st. nicolas
dwelt, woven
between the threads
of my skeleton
but i was false,
flabbergasted
and foggy
a rotting pumpkin
the kids kept
past due date –
easter eggs gone sour, spent
i suppose i always was
and am,
beneath
when she spoke,
stockings ran and
elbows popped
something shifted,
some things shift
it wasn’t the fact, but the
phrase
would you believe me if i told you?
i’ve seen angels
in strangers
and fairies in
old men
god in the gloaming and
life through the
key hole
now, i am.
this cathedral stands
common but mine,
altogether
forever (for now)
and perhaps
nothing matters,
or else
all the rest
ocean tides
new prescriptions and
bicycle locks
clasp and reveal,
led anew or renewed?
well i regrew
and i’ve come to worship these
common cathedrals
i’ve seen serendipity, and
talked to an angel
grasped in the dark
and heard sleigh bells;
it was before i
knew myself but
it’s where i found myself
all the same